sometimes I get the urge to go insane. to punch my fist into a cake. to walk around the city with mascara running down my face and still smile and be a party girl. I want to be so fun that people ask if i'm okay, and though i'll be being honest when I say yes, they won't believe me. I don't want to be a cautionary tale. I don't want to be the poster child for "what went wrong." I want to be sober but think drunk, walk with balance but talk like there's a screw loose, politely not give a fuck. I just sometimes get the urge to go insane.

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